Change is Tough, But it’s Part of Living
How to stay stay in your flow while going through a change in life
Photo Captured by Author
As we all know, change is tough. It doesn’t matter what type of changes we’re faced with or forced to make in our lives, it never comes without pain. And sometimes, it can be downright nasty. A sudden change, like a separation, loss of a job, a family member, or close friend, can leave us shattered and bewildered. It can leave us frozen, unable to move forward, paralyzed by fear of the unknown, of our fragile selves being further broken by other people and by other circumstances.
I was quite close to my grandparents, but I lost them at a time in my life when I really needed them. I’ve also lost friendships, but as heart breaking these losses were, I forced myself to move on because that’s simply what we all must do at some point. Not to mention, it took several years of healing and of making bad choices along the way. The healing journey is never easy. Some days, it feels like you’re taking one step forward and two steps backwards. It sure felt that way to me.
Though, some changes I’ve been through were good because the choices I’ve made to instigate those life changes prevented me from getting into a potential bad situation.
One of the best decisions I’ve made for myself within the past five years was my decision to shut down my gardening business and move off the Sunshine Coast.
I had a small, but loyal and dedicated clientele, though it wasn’t enough to sustain me financially. The continually rising cost of living ensured that I wouldn’t leave my parents’ home anytime soon. Not to mention, I was becoming increasingly bitter over the fact that I was a single woman without a well-paying career, living in a place for the wealthy and where those well-to-do people flaunted their wealth.
No, I needed something more than just gardening and landscaping to sustain me. So, given that I was immensely interested in fitness, I decided to pursue a career as a fitness instructor. The idea was to have two careers because I believed that gardening and teaching fitness classes would compliment each other well.
I obtained my ACE group fitness certification in October 2019 and had barely enough money saved up to move off the Sunshine Coast and start fresh in my new career. I also had zero experience in teaching fitness classes. Yet, I wanted it bad enough. I could have taken a leap of faith, sent out applications, made the move, and prayed that everything would have worked out well. But I was paralyzed by fear. A large part of that stemmed from the pressure my family put on me to stay on the Coast.
“You need to get some stability and some experience here first before you move,” they told me over and over again.
Problem was, as hard as I tried, no good opportunities presented themselves and nothing seemed to work out well. I felt like I was pounding my fists on doors that refused to budge, and the harder I pounded, the stronger those doors became.
So, how do you gain experience in your chosen field when no one is willing to take a chance on you? This is where I questioned the validity of the popular phrase, ‘The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.’ In some cases, the grass really is greener on the other side. When it doesn’t work out in one town, job, or relationship, that’s when we must decide if it’s really worth it to stay and suffer when a much better opportunity is out there somewhere else, waiting for us to find it.
I finally decided in early 2020 that it was time to move on. I had grown up on the Sunshine Coast and I had made a few good friends. I also had amazing clients, but I also recognized that it wasn’t doing me any good to remain living in a place that was no longer working for me. God had closed those doors, so it was high time I moved on.
I moved to Eaglesham, a farming hamlet located in northwestern Alberta, in late February 2020 and kickstarted my fitness career there. I was off to a fantastic start and then COVID hit. Within 24 hours, I lost my fitness career. I lost everything.
These past two years found me floundering, struggling, and making one bad choice after another. Until I finally woke up and decided to take charge of my life. Things have gotten much better since that awakening. No, things are not perfect, but I am finding my flow. Day by day.
So, when unexpected change happens, here are 5 tips on how to get back into your flow.
Pause, take a deep breath, and take your time.
When we receive news that is crushing, it’s so easy to go into panic mode. I know this from my own experience. But this is when you must stop, take a deep breath, exhale slowly, and then go for a long walk or talk to a close, trusted friend about your situation.
You’ve just been sidelined by life — or another person’s — unfair dealings, so the world can wait a moment for you to pull yourself together.
2. Do not make important life decisions
If medals were granted to people who’ve made stupid decisions that landed them in negative environments, I’m sure I would have won gold. It took more hardship than necessary for me to finally realize the importance of standing still in the midst of chaos.
If you’re not faced with a life or death situation, or any situation where you’re forced to make a big, quick decision, don’t. Simply don’t because it’s not worth the heartache that comes with making rash decisions without first weighing the pros and cons. Decisions made out of fear, societal pressures, anger, pain or confusion will only land you in a potentially far worse situation.
Listen to your gut instinct and if you see any red flags appear, walk the other way.
3. Change yourself first
How you decide to move forward all depends on you. How you view yourself and the world around you determines the outcome of your life. If you’re going to wallow in self pity and live for worst-case-scenarios (I’m guilty as charged), then guess what? You won’t be happy and those worst-case scenarios will come true.
However, if you decide to wake up and tell yourself “I’ve got this. I’m going to be more positive, make more money, forge better friendships, and meet the man/woman of my dreams,” every single day, then those dreams will become your reality and you will live a happier life.
Your quality of life all starts with you.
4. Set goals and pursue them one small step at a time
Set big goals and dream big, but pursue them one small step at a time. Celebrate each milestone you reach because every goal, however small is well worth celebrating. It keeps you inspired and it keeps you moving forward.
5. Block out the negativity
There will always be naysayers; those people who will judge you, those same people who will point out all of your flaws and give you every reason why you shouldn’t pursue your dreams. Those people could be ‘supposedly’ close friends. They could even be family members.
That’s when you have to re-evaluate those relationships and decide if they are still worth your time. You are worthy of respect, love, and encouragement.
Misery likes misery and negative people will only bring you down. Walk away from all those toxic relationships, start over if you must, and pursue your dreams because you deserve much better. But you must also believe that you deserve better.
A Takeaway
Change can be incredibly painful and mind-numbing, especially if it is so sudden and unexpected. Though, change can bring about a beautiful and magical outcome in our lives. It all depends on us; how we respond, react, and move forward. With goals and a right mindset, we can turn things around for the better in our personal and in our professional lives.
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